actually, i had the idea in my head for a few days but wasn't able to put it to words in the way that would please me. so, the haiku i posted was some sort of a compromise rather than a finished work. maybe i was trying to follow the slovene version (which works better in this case) too literally but omitting telling bout the swans' absence changes the tone of the haiku in my opinion...
26 comments:
In this one, Polona, I wonder if you haven't written too much?
The fact that they are "gone now" is already implied by the picture and by the verb "preserves". For instance, writing:
the frozen pond
preserves their presence -
swans
Might have been enough. I *love* the sentiment though - and somewhat related to the haiku I just wrote on my own site.
Well shown by you, Polona, this art of nature... in your frame. _m
Now, that's something else.
Even swan footprints are lovely! (But I am sure only when the photo is taken by you.)
I can feel the cold in this!
Lovely feel in this one...
'preserve' was a good choice, Polona :)
wishes
devika
lovely, we watched a swan skating on the ice the other day, leaving footprints like this,,.
terrific one polona
john
kam res odidejo, ko se zaledeni? Nikoli nisem o tem razmišljala...
Excellent Polona - love that photo!
Wow what a glorious piece, photo and words are magical, bravo Polona!
Happy New Year, Polona!
Love this one!
Thank you!
Margie
Lovely Polona, nice toach
Striking image and ku.
ooooooooooooooo, bozanski posnetek in haiku ob njem!
Bravo!
Objem, Polona in vse dobro.
hugs
how r u?
this is beautiful....
Hi Polona,
came for new ones...
Hope all fine there
come again later
wishes,
devika
Frozen in time
captured beautifully.
Superb! :o)
Wow, I looked at your new photo, I like it, you look sooo young lol
nobl. nova stran deluje sveže. nov avatar tudi...
thank you all.
actually, i had the idea in my head for a few days but wasn't able to put it to words in the way that would please me. so, the haiku i posted was some sort of a compromise rather than a finished work. maybe i was trying to follow the slovene version (which works better in this case) too literally but omitting telling bout the swans' absence changes the tone of the haiku in my opinion...
Awesome footprints..
Great photo and nice verse. Like upinVermont, I'm tempted to play with it
frozen pond
the steps the swans
have left behind
I like this a lot, both the words and the picture. It is sad in a way, but also comforting, despite their absence, marks remain, and memory.
such a cool photo- simply amazing
look at those swan imprints
your haiga says this well "Preserves their presence)
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