This poem was well worth mulling over. It repays longer consideration.
The initial reading of course conveyed the comic irony of the athletes comparing, not victories, but injuries; that the two of them cannot avoid competing, even when they are hospitalized, incapable of performing their sport.
But on reflection I found a deeper set of thoughts can be drawn from this poem, just like in some of the "humorous" works of Basho. So I wish the author had not labelled it "senryu". Frankly, I don't believe in labeling. And the term "senryu" is commonly used to suggest a poem is not judged worthy of "serious" consideration (unlike "real" haiku). Anyone interested in my arguments against senryu is welcome to visit my blog (www.haikuapprentice.com), since I have dealt with this issue in several posts.
Anyway, Polona, please don't preempt the readership with a label that adds nothing, but has the potential to be misconstrued. Don't prime readers with an idea that you think the poem is "less serious". If it looks like a haiku, then to my mind, it is haiku. And the interpretation of the poem is up to the poetic sensitivity of the readership.
Returning to the poem. My own thoughts began to dwell on the fact that these two athletes, who presumably among the finest physical specimens of humanity, are manifesting the weakness of humanity. The poem conveys the one overriding truth of the human condition - the inevitability of decline, failure, defeat, and death. Even at our physical best, most of us are never going to be remembered for some unmatched achievement. But we can be remembered for how we approach the universal problem of failure and of decline. The other name for a "physio ward" is the "rehabilitation ward" and I believe these athletes could be representatives of such a rehabilitation in attitude. Instead of crowing vainly about their victories or successes, they are facing their weakness honestly (the word our poet used was "compare", which has a connotation of factuality, not competitiveness). Another thing that struck me in the poem was that we have a pair of athletes. There is a solidarity, a proto-community between them, as they assist each other adjust to the fact of their ultimate mortality. In the Western world, athletes are commercialized and idealized for their (unattainable) perfection. Yet in this poem these athletes are failures, and therefore perfect role models for real life.
Thank you Polona, yet again, for your thought-provoking haiku.
@Strider - i tip my hat to your skills in writing appreciative comments (and rants ;) ). each time i read your essays i learn something about my work and haiku in general. unlike you, though, i don't necessarily see senryu as a derogatory term for something inferior to haiku. i agree, though, that there is a lot of confusion as to what constitutes haiku and how senryu differs (having in mind haiku and senryu in english, of course)... personally i don't mind all that much whether the poem i wrote is called haiku or senryu as long as it appears to work.
@Warren - thank you for a laugh. and as someone who used to be involved in more than one competitive sport i can assure you the difference between the two isn't always as clear as it may seem :-)
Having spent many years in the medical field I have witnessed these conversations often, not only between athletes, but between those in any medical ward. It's as if some have a need to, almost boastfully, have the most serious of injuries, or the most complicated and even the most unusual which inevitably puts the other in a defense mode. Humanity seems to want to hide what they deem to be their weaknesses in such a manner till the deeper lesson of their injury/illness comes to the forefront...a thought-provoking write indeed Polona.
6 comments:
This poem was well worth mulling over. It repays longer consideration.
The initial reading of course conveyed the comic irony of the athletes comparing, not victories, but injuries; that the two of them cannot avoid competing, even when they are hospitalized, incapable of performing their sport.
But on reflection I found a deeper set of thoughts can be drawn from this poem, just like in some of the "humorous" works of Basho. So I wish the author had not labelled it "senryu". Frankly, I don't believe in labeling. And the term "senryu" is commonly used to suggest a poem is not judged worthy of "serious" consideration (unlike "real" haiku). Anyone interested in my arguments against senryu is welcome to visit my blog (www.haikuapprentice.com), since I have dealt with this issue in several posts.
Anyway, Polona, please don't preempt the readership with a label that adds nothing, but has the potential to be misconstrued. Don't prime readers with an idea that you think the poem is "less serious". If it looks like a haiku, then to my mind, it is haiku. And the interpretation of the poem is up to the poetic sensitivity of the readership.
Returning to the poem. My own thoughts began to dwell on the fact that these two athletes, who presumably among the finest physical specimens of humanity, are manifesting the weakness of humanity. The poem conveys the one overriding truth of the human condition - the inevitability of decline, failure, defeat, and death. Even at our physical best, most of us are never going to be remembered for some unmatched achievement. But we can be remembered for how we approach the universal problem of failure and of decline. The other name for a "physio ward" is the "rehabilitation ward" and I believe these athletes could be representatives of such a rehabilitation in attitude. Instead of crowing vainly about their victories or successes, they are facing their weakness honestly (the word our poet used was "compare", which has a connotation of factuality, not competitiveness). Another thing that struck me in the poem was that we have a pair of athletes. There is a solidarity, a proto-community between them, as they assist each other adjust to the fact of their ultimate mortality. In the Western world, athletes are commercialized and idealized for their (unattainable) perfection. Yet in this poem these athletes are failures, and therefore perfect role models for real life.
Thank you Polona, yet again, for your thought-provoking haiku.
Hi Polona - A terrific poem once I reread and realize it was physio ward and not psycho ward.
Warren
@Strider - i tip my hat to your skills in writing appreciative comments (and rants ;) ). each time i read your essays i learn something about my work and haiku in general. unlike you, though, i don't necessarily see senryu as a derogatory term for something inferior to haiku. i agree, though, that there is a lot of confusion as to what constitutes haiku and how senryu differs (having in mind haiku and senryu in english, of course)... personally i don't mind all that much whether the poem i wrote is called haiku or senryu as long as it appears to work.
@Warren - thank you for a laugh. and as someone who used to be involved in more than one competitive sport i can assure you the difference between the two isn't always as clear as it may seem :-)
Having spent many years in the medical field I have witnessed these conversations often, not only between athletes, but between those in any medical ward. It's as if some have a need to, almost boastfully, have the most serious of injuries, or the most complicated and even the most unusual which inevitably puts the other in a defense mode. Humanity seems to want to hide what they deem to be their weaknesses in such a manner till the deeper lesson of their injury/illness comes to the forefront...a thought-provoking write indeed Polona.
for superior creatures we deem ourselves to be this kind of behaviour is quite irrational, even insane, no? pffft, humankind...
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